You can be the smartest person in the room, but if no one trusts you, you’re not a leader.
I’ve seen leaders come and go—officers who had rank but no rapport, managers who gave orders without earning respect.
And I’ve learned one thing for sure:
Leadership isn’t about control. It’s about loyalty.
Not the “follow me blindly” kind.
The “I’ve got your back even when things go sideways” kind.
And that’s what real leadership—military or civilian—is built on.
My First Lesson in Real Leadership
I’ll never forget a senior NCO during training who, when our gear failed, didn’t yell or blame. He just started fixing.
No complaint. No lecture. Just action.
We followed him—not because we had to—but because we wanted to. Because he’d proven, time after time, that he’d carry the weight with us.
He was loyal to his people. And that loyalty inspired our loyalty to him.
That’s leadership.
The Transfer to Tech
When I transitioned into the tech world, I saw a different kind of leadership.
Project managers with Gantt charts and C-suite lingo. “Soft skills” trainings. Task tracking.
But still—teams broke down. People burned out. Projects failed.
And often, it came down to this: leadership without loyalty.
The best leaders in tech do what the best leaders in the military do:
- They listen first.
- They jump in during the hard moments.
- They credit others in public, correct in private.
- They earn trust, then protect it.
Loyalty Isn’t Weakness—It’s Strength
Loyalty doesn’t mean staying silent when something’s wrong.
It means speaking up to protect people, systems, or culture.
It means doing what’s right even when it’s not easy.
In tech, that looks like:
- Flagging a toxic team dynamic
- Saying no to scope creep when the team is already stretched
- Backing a junior dev when they speak up with a bold idea
When your people know you’ll fight for them, they’ll follow you through any sprint—or war zone.
What My Dog Taught Me About Loyalty
I know it might sound corny, but my Great Dane shows me what real, unwavering loyalty looks like every day.
He’s steady. Present. With me no matter how chaotic the day gets.
He reminds me that leadership isn’t about being out front—it’s about standing beside someone and saying, “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Lead Like a Soldier, Not a Boss
Whether you’re running a tech team, mentoring one new hire, or just trying to show up for your family—leadership starts with loyalty.
It starts with care. With showing up, over and over, even when no one’s watching.
That’s how you win people’s trust. And that’s how great missions get done.
Follow this journey at jameshenderson.online—where leadership doesn’t shout, it serves. And where loyalty still walks on four paws and follows you home.