I didn’t start coding because I wanted a tech career.
I started because I needed something to focus on that didn’t involve the ghosts of war.
Post-military life isn’t always a smooth ride. For me—and for many others—it came with anxiety, sleepless nights, a racing mind, and a deep sense of disconnection from the world I returned to.
I didn’t talk about it. Didn’t want to.
But silently, I was breaking apart.
Until I found programming.
When the Brain Needs a Mission
One thing about PTSD is that it often makes your mind run on loops.
You overanalyze, overreact, replay moments that won’t fade.
Your brain is wired for survival—even when you’re no longer in danger.
And what helped me stop that loop wasn’t medication or group therapy (though both can be important). It was this strange, structured thing I found online one night: a programming challenge.
It had rules. Logic. Syntax. A mission to complete.
For the first time in months, I felt focused. Not spinning out—locked in.
Code Gave Me Control Again
In the military, I always knew my role. I had purpose. Orders. A chain of command.
When I got out, all of that vanished.
But with code? Every line was mine. Every decision, every function, every bug—it was me in the driver’s seat. And when something broke, I could fix it. No ambiguity. No politics.
Just problems and solutions.
That gave me back a feeling I hadn’t felt since I left the field: agency.
Structure Is Therapy
Programming isn’t random. It’s routine, logic, systems.
And if you’ve ever lived with PTSD, you know structure can be a lifesaver. It grounds you. Creates predictability. Restores focus.
Every night I sat down to learn Python or debug an error, I felt better—not because I was escaping, but because I was retraining my brain to think step-by-step, not spiral-to-spiral.
How It Helps Me Today
Years later, I still use programming as a form of mental wellness.
It helps me:
- Regain focus when my anxiety spikes
- Rebuild confidence by solving real problems
- Feel connected to a broader mission through work
- Keep my mind moving forward instead of stuck in the past
It doesn’t cure PTSD. But it gives me tools to live with it—and sometimes, even grow from it.
A Message for Fellow Veterans
If you’re struggling, and traditional therapy isn’t cutting it, try learning to code.
You don’t have to be a genius. You just need to be curious and disciplined—two things every soldier already has.
It’s more than a career path. It can be a lifeline.
I rebuilt my mindset through functions and for-loops—and you can, too.
Follow more of this journey at jameshenderson.online—where every bug fixed is one step closer to peace of mind.